Psychologist for HEDONIST: We Are All Hedonists - The Question Is Whether We Know It

Do We Know How to Enjoy Life? What is it that makes us happy, besides family and health? There are many answers, but two facts remain: every person can become a hedonist, and financial wealth is not a prerequisite for this pursuit. There is only one condition - to master the art of living in such a way that we seek happiness in every moment, in both small and big things around us, without harming others.

Hedonism has no price; it is a matter of perspective, balance, and awareness of boundaries.

At a buffet table, will you pile everything onto your plate in unlimited quantities and overindulge, or will you choose only what you truly love and savor every bite? When passing through a breathtaking river canyon, will you rush through it as quickly as possible, or will you pause to imprint every detail in your memory? Many would say that the answers to these questions determine whether you are someone who knows how to enjoy life or someone who moves through it as if serving a prison sentence.

Pleasure

Historically and scientifically, hedonism originates from the Greek word "hedone," meaning pleasure. As early as the fourth century BCE, philosophers explored the idea, considering physical and spiritual pleasure to be the highest human good, encouraging people to live each day as if it were their last.

Yet despite its ancient roots, misconceptions persist. Hedonism is often narrowly associated only with indulgence in food, drink, or expensive possessions. Sometimes, hedonists are even portrayed negatively - as arrogant individuals who can afford what others cannot.

Psychologist Slađana Cvjetković explains for HEDONIST magazine that such perceptions stem from two sources: prejudice and poverty.

“When we mention hedonists, we often picture ancient Roman excess - uncontrolled indulgence in food, drink, and physical pleasures such as sex. That is where these negative images come from. However, when we speak of hedonism today, we refer to a person who strives to experience pleasure in life, who seeks to predominantly enjoy life - not only through physical sensations, but by reducing unnecessary discomfort and pain,” Cvjetković explains.

Are We All Hedonists?

Is every form of enjoyment hedonism? And is each of us capable of becoming a hedonist?

“Yes, we are. It depends on perspective - on how a person approaches life and what they strive for. Today, we often see children growing up in families where parents fulfill every wish, sometimes uncritically. For them, happiness and pleasure become the meaning of life. We can all be hedonists to some degree, engaging in activities connected to pleasure and enjoyment. But if we aim to avoid any kind of pain, that becomes uncritical hedonism. Discomfort is a natural part of life; it motivates us to learn and to develop behaviors that move us away from what causes harm,” she adds.

Every person can become a hedonist - what matters is not how much you have, but how you live.

Hedonism is sometimes linked to selfishness - focusing solely on one’s own needs and desires. However, Cvjetković emphasizes that a hedonist does not have to be selfish.

“A hedonist is someone who enjoys life, every single moment, by seeing the positive side and striving to create positivity - but also someone who helps others. Selfish individuals, on the other hand, look only at their own needs and desires, without considering whether they harm others in the process.”

Boundaries

The thread of hedonism, she explains, is present from the moment a person is born. Observe a newborn, and you will see that it is guided entirely by the principle of its own satisfaction, seeking what brings comfort.

“However, the role of parents in socialization and upbringing is to teach children to approach life through the principle of reality. This means understanding that unpleasant things can be beneficial - like eating cauliflower - while pleasant things, such as sweets, can sometimes be harmful. Still, the desire for enjoyment remains, but with awareness of boundaries. These are the people we say live life to the fullest.”

Is enjoyment reserved only for those who own luxury cars, yachts, and expensive watches? Or can happiness be found in a piece of chocolate, a modest car, affordable sneakers to which you are emotionally attached, or a fishing trip with friends?

Hedonism Has No Price

It is clear that more money makes it easier to fulfill desires, but it would be wrong to say that only the wealthy can be hedonists. Hedonism is not a privilege reserved for a select few. In essence, it has no price.

“We must distinguish between needs and desires. If we do not satisfy our needs, we cannot survive. We can survive without fulfilling our desires, but our quality of life diminishes. For example, water is a need; coffee, tea, or juice are desires. We can live without them, but they make life more enjoyable. However, because we are often a society focused on survival, pleasure, and the fulfillment of desires, they are sometimes met with disapproval, as many cannot afford them. As a result, hedonists are seen as extravagant. What is normal in more developed and affluent societies is often treated here as a luxury. Ultimately, it is a matter of perspective,” Cvjetković concludes.

• Written by: Slobodan Popadić / HEDONIST
• Originally published in HEDONIST Magazine, Issue 01, 2020.